Season 2

Episode 2.10: Relationship Wrap Up

Welcome to the season 2 finale! Huge thanks for being here for the wrap up episode. Man, I loved these interviews on relationships and community, which were specifically Episodes 2.6-2.9. Every single one of these guests brought their A game, so if you haven’t had a chance to listen yet, go back now and check them out.

For those of you who are all caught up, let me walk you through what you’re about to hear. We’re going to start off with a story of an experience in which I felt unsuitable in community. I’m then going to walk you through some deeper implications of what I experienced while tying in insights from the four interviews in this series. We’re going to talk about this idea of privilege and how it affects our relationships, and a story of how my guy Jesus interacted with a woman who was perceived as all sorts of unsuitable. At the very end, I’ll share how you can get my very free guide, “How to Make Friends without Hating Everything.”

The story from the Bible I reference is John 4:4-42

Episode 2.9: Shawn Oates

Shawn is a Christ follower, founder of Leaf, an app that
helps you make group plans, co-host of a podcast called Two Black Sheep, and
creative director at Allen & Ade. You can follow Shawn on Instagram @soates
or @twoblacksheeplive. Leaf is available on the app store.

Shawn and I had a great conversation about his podcast, his experience growing up in a predominantly white community, the struggle to settle into his identity, and the power of having a consistent group of friends in good times and also in the midst of struggle and grief.

Episode 2.8: Cristina Spataro

Today I’m sitting down with Cristina Spataro. Cristina is a Bronx-native, she is a child psychotherapist, and she loves old movies. You’re going to hear stories from Cristina about growing up in the Bronx, growing up with physical challenges, advocating for yourself and others in relationships, how difference builds empathy, and the value of limitations. I particularly appreciate how honest Cristina is about some really challenging experiences.

Episode 2.7: Rob

Hey everyone, this week my friend Rob and I talk about community within the church. Community is a bit of a buzzword, it sometimes feels like one of those words that has been used so much that we don’t necessarily think about what it means or what we mean when we use it. Maybe you hear the word community and feel all warm and fuzzy. Maybe you hear it and it gives you hives or makes you roll your eyes because you’ve experienced it as just one more thing you are obliged to do. If you’re in a season of feeling discouraged or disillusioned in community, I hope this conversation will resonate with you. Rob and I are going to talk through some good and some less positive experiences in church community, fitting in, and exclusivity. Here’s a little bit about Rob.

Rob was raised in both New England and New York yet somehow pronounces Rs and only argues about sports as much as a normal healthy person. He has lived in NY for several years now and works in financial services but his real passion is eating at the best restaurants in the city…that only have a single dollar sign in their Yelp ratings. He can usually be found complaining about how much he dreads running and running in Central Park.

Episode 2.6: Liz Smith

Welcome to Episode 6, the first episode of our Unsuitable in relationship and community series. We’re going to kick things off with Liz Smith.

Liz just finished her Masters in Library Science at Rutgers and is job hunting. She have worked in public relations and editorial positions for non-profit organizations including The New York Public Library and American Bible Society. She was also a member of The Blue Hill Troupe, a Gilbert & Sullivan operetta group, before becoming a Christ follower and church goer. Liz blogs as Missouri St Clair at and she also created a website dedicated to memoirs called Both those links are in the episode description.

Liz is going to share some serious wisdom about some of her past dating relationships, mental and emotional health in relationship, forgiveness and healing. Liz led a recovery group for women coming out of codependent relationships so she has a lot of great things to say about that as well.

Episode 2.5: Work Wrap-Up

This is a new thing I’m trying over here at Unsuitable with Mary B. Safrit, a little wrap up episode where I’m going to share some of my thoughts on the theme, some key take aways from the episodes you’ve heard so far, and give you some tools to help you engage with the series theme more deeply. If you haven’t listened to the interviews, I would definitely encourage you to do so. You’ll get the most out of this episode if you have the context of the previous episodes.

Episode 2.4: Elise Mas

Elise Mas is a singer-songwriter based out of Brooklyn, New York. Her style has been described as melodic acoustic pop with R&B and folk influences—earnest melodies over contemplative chords as if read from a diary. Elise has a background in classical violin and R&B music production, mentored under Orange Factory Music (Jay Sean, Big Time Rush). She’s also performed as a violinist for Rachel Platten.
In this episode, Elise and I are going to cover a lot of ground. We talk about the ups and downs of her various experiences in the music industry, using her art to process relationships, juggling creative work and marketing, and how she integrates her faith into her work. I like how she reflects on challenges and mistakes so honestly.

Episode 2.3: Debra Ayis

Debra has been a published poet and writer since the year 2005 when her poem ‘My Routine’ was published in an anthology by Anchor Books a ForwardPoetry imprint based in the United Kingdom. She has since been published in at over 100 anthologies in Canada, India, Nigeria, South Africa, U.K, U.S, and other countries. You can find out more about what she’s up to on her website:;  you can also follow her on Facebook at MsDebraAyis

In this episode, Debra starts off by sharing one of her poems. After that, we talk about her journey as a writer and as a Christian. I love how her faith infuses so much of our conversation and also her perspective on sharing her creative gift.

Episode 2.2: Christian Smeltzer

Christian is a Seattle born, midwest raised entrepreneur residing in Brooklyn. Founder and CEO of Swade incorporated, Christian has an extensive background in financial services and business management which he applies to both work and life alike. A resident of NYC for four years, he enjoys spending his time building his network, developing his hobbies and fellow-shipping with friends. You can follow Swade on Instagram @swadeapp and read more about it at Christian and I talk about Swade, working to prove something vs working out of faith, higher education, and identity.

Episode 2.1: Heidi Clark

Heidi is a copywriter, aspiring jazz singer, dad joke enthusiast, and ice cream fanatic. Heidi and I kick off Season 2 with a conversation on writing and singing, and the frustration of being underemployed in a career/productivity driven culture.

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