Authentic belonging from a queer Christian perspective
Empowering marginalized Christians to reclaim their agency and co-create authentic community after leaving high-control churches and relationships.
MaryB. Safrit is a New York City-based writer, relationship coach, and host of the Found Family podcast. She’s also your friendly neighborhood bisexual, a recovering people pleaser, and a relationship and hospitality nerd. Her work exists to help folks who feel like the church doesn’t know what to do with them reclaim their agency and create the kind of community they long for.
With a decade of experience in the hospitality industry, years of training in the performing arts, and a lifetime navigating most of the theological spectrum of the church as a lay leader and regular congregant, MaryB. has a unique lens on creating spaces of welcome for each human in those spaces.
MaryB. is passionate about creating tangible opportunities for connection by empowering and resourcing her audience and clients. Every space she creates, whether virtually or in person, is imbued with a culture of openness, authenticity, and radical hospitality.
Let’s work together! Here are some of the roles I can fill at your next event
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Through storytelling and practical wisdom, my talks guide audiences through nuanced concepts with thoughtfulness and humor. I’ve spoken to audiences from teenagers through adulthood, domestically and internationally, for the past 15 years.
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Practical and engaging, my workshops take attendees through complex content in ways that are approachable, empowering, and provide tangible takeaways and action items.
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There are few things I love more than exploring a passage of Scripture with people. I bring a rare blend of vulnerability, theological depth, and inclusive wisdom that resonates deeply with audiences of all backgrounds.
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I’ve hosted over 150 interviews to successfully highlight those who are creatively making community and building fulfilling relationships inside and outside of the church.
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I’ve hosted/emceed successful variety shows, live podcasts, and mixers (in my home) and created a relaxed and safe environment while honoring an event’s purpose and audience.
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While speaking to large groups is enjoyable, getting into the nitty gritty with small groups is my jam. I’ve facilitated discussions and led blended sessions that combine teaching and discussion with groups across the theological spectrum over the past 15 years.
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I’ve also sat on the other side of the mic many times as a guest on various podcasts. My thoughtful, nuanced approach and unique perspective add dynamism to any conversation. My favorite topics include queer faith, relationship building, navigating church culture, and more!
What are the people saying?
MaryB. is an approachable and empathetic speaker. Her dynamic and punchy communication style makes her depth and wisdom personally impactful. MaryB. leaves her audience challenged, encouraged, and seen.
Elizabeth Delgato Black, CEO of Kaleidoscope
Mary B. is a thoughtful, humorous speaker with the gift of relatability. When she spoke to our artists about making/becoming Safe Friends, she skillfully laid out (like a map) the context relationships exist in and the obstacles we need to navigate. It was practical, digestible, and so very enlightening! I also loved that she incorporated quotes from others. You can tell that Mary B. is herself a learner -- and that's what makes her a great teacher!
Amy Pan, co-founder of Renew York
Who Do I Talk To?
Folks who fall—or are shoved—through the cracks in “traditional” church spaces
What Do I Talk About?
How to Find Your People
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In high-control churches, we learned restrictive rules about how to be with one another that only reinforced the hierarchies and rigid roles promoted by those institutions. We trusted the rules and forgot how to trust ourselves. This talk names the differences between high-control communities and healthy, mutual relationships. We lower the stakes on relationships so that folks can slowly re-learn to trust themselves and others.
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In a cultural moment marked by loneliness and division, how do we make and cultivate relationships marked by safety and mutual care? We walk through the barriers to friendship, models of safe friendship, and practical tips for finding friends. This talk can be tailored to a Christian or general audience.
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The given models for relationship building keep us locked in a system that prioritizes romantic and sexual relationships as the ultimate form of relationships. But one person or system can’t be our everything. This talk helps the audience expand their imaginations for what could be relationally possible so they can think creatively about how to find belonging and love their neighbors.
You’ve Heard It Said: Reclaiming Our Faith from Toxic Teachings
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Beneath all the masks we wear and who we think we should be, what do we actually believe about ourselves? Taking the audience through Mark 22:15-17, we reframe sin and invite listeners to embrace the unique promises Jesus has for those who the church has labeled “sinners.”
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For those who have fallen—or been shoved—through the cracks, this talk invites the audience to shake off the limiting, destructive messages that have kept the gospel out of reach and puts it back into their hands. We explore a gospel brimming with new life, devoid of hierarchy and gatekeepers, and overflowing with unexpected companionship.
Have something else in mind? I'd love to collaborate and find the right topic for your people. Fill out the contact form and I'll get back to you ASAP. I'm also available for hire as a content consultant if you need help planning an event series. I can't wait to work together!
What are the people saying?
MaryB.'s presentation on safe friends was great. She discussed 'social conventions and structures that undervalue friendships' and I resonated with that. It's a conversation that's needed and I'm glad she's facilitating it.
Judy- Safe Friends Workshop Attendee
MaryB. has a unique ability to take the journey and experience of deconstruction, processing, and healing, and find hope and meaning through Jesus. In her careful explication of Scripture, she offers her listeners the space to sit with their thoughts and emotions, being fully present and embodied in communion with God, and receive a message of empowerment to go into the world and do likewise with others.
Ray Low, Director of Community Engagement and Spiritual Formation for Kaleidoscope