Have you ever heard of the idea of being a regular somewhere? Think about your favorite sitcoms where characters often meet up at the same bar or coffee shop. The bartender or barista knows their order, and they interact with other regulars. It's a familiar and comforting scenario.

For a few years, I was part of a group of friends who decided to become regulars at a bar/restaurant in my neighborhood. It became our go-to spot for connecting with each other, and it was also a great place to invite new friends or folks looking to expand their social circles. Every Thursday night, you’d find me there, making new friends, bonding with the staff, and strengthening existing friendships over delicious food and drinks.

However, being a regular at a New York restaurant wasn’t exactly budget-friendly. While I could allocate part of my budget to these Thursday night gatherings because they were important to me, I often felt uncomfortable inviting new folks due to the high price point.

Church as a Social Hub

Church was another place where I made new connections and deepened existing ones. It was free, aside from tithing and volunteer hours. But since leaving my church, I've become more aware of how challenging it can be to recreate those connections without spending money or having a regular gathering spot. Without the logistical support of a church or regular hangout, I felt unmoored and missed that sense of community.

Finding New Ways to Connect

Sure, I could join another church or find a new restaurant or coffee shop, but what if, like me, you need time to heal from a difficult church experience? Or what if you want to feel rooted in your community but don't have the budget for regular social events? There are many reasons why traditional socializing might be inaccessible. In this economy, we all could use tips on places where we can experience belonging without spending a fortune.

With that in mind, here are five places you could become a regular without breaking the bank.

Your Local Library

If your area has an accessible library, it's likely to host events! You can make friends with librarians by asking for book recommendations or check out a bulletin board for community events and opportunities. Libraries aren’t necessarily the best place for loud conversations, but they are excellent for connecting over shared interests.

Spending time at your local library also helps you understand the vital role they play in our neighborhoods. You can request they carry books from your favorite authors, which helps support both the library and the authors. Libraries are fantastic places to bond over shared values of curiosity and advocacy.

A Park or Walking Route

We are creatures of habit. If you visit a park or stick to the same walking route at the same time, you’ll likely see the same people. Try going during higher traffic times, like the beginning or end of the day. Start conversations by complimenting a person’s dog or their outfit.

Not everyone will be open to chatting, especially in rural or non-walkable areas, but if you live in a neighborhood where you can walk around, this is a great way to meet your neighbors. You can also invite a friend to join you for regular walks, creating a low-effort and low-cost opportunity to deepen your friendship.

Volunteer or Mutual Aid Groups

Your community probably has non-profits or mutual aid groups. Volunteering is an excellent way to meet like-minded individuals and make new friends. If you're not in a position to volunteer, check out resources and mutual aid groups to see how they can support you.

These groups are great for connecting with folks who share your values or needs. A quick Google search can help you find a place to start.

Local Government Meetings

Local government meetings might attract some characters, but they also bring together people who care deeply about the community. Use discussion topics as conversation starters or introduce yourself as a newbie looking for tips on contributing effectively.

Getting involved in local politics can be empowering and might help you feel less frustrated with national issues. Inviting a friend or a loose connection to join you can make the experience less intimidating and more enjoyable.

The Places You Already Go

Sometimes, we're already regulars; we just need to be open to opportunities to connect. Try leaving your headphones at home and pay attention to who might be open to a conversation. Start small and see what happens.

Think about your workplace, grocery store, laundromat, or apartment building. Embrace the awkwardness and begin to notice your surroundings differently. You might be surprised at how many people are open to connecting.

Becoming a regular doesn't have to cost a fortune or compromise your values. Many people in your community are also seeking connection and finding creative ways to do so. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, get curious and look for places where connection is already happening. It might take time and effort, but you are worthy of the time it takes to find your community.

What do you think? Leave a comment and let the people know!

P.S. This text was repurposed from a podcast script. It was reformatted with the help of Chat GPT for conciseness, clarity, and ease of consumption. Everything in this blog post comes from my actual words, and I, an actual human, edited and posted them. I take full responsibility for these words. If you’d like words by me that are untouched by a robot, check out my Substack!